The No-Needer Conditional Receiver
No-Needers believe that they are valued, loved and safe when they appear strong, when they have it all together and have no needs. To them, needing anything is a sign of weakness. They’ll only ask if they really, really need something.
No-needers often see themselves as more capable of handling a task, especially when they perceive that others already have a lot on their hands. This type learned that they could not depend on others, that receiving came at a cost, or that others needed more support than they did.
When things aren’t working to their satisfaction, they often think the solution is to take on more responsibility to show their strength and value.
- I need to be strong for others.
- I can handle this. Others need support more than I do.
- I’d rather not ask because there’s usually a cost for receiving.
- I don’t want to be a burden on others.
The No-Needer type often shows up when an individual wants to be seen as valuable through their strength and how much they can take on physically and emotionally. They’re the ones that try not to show emotion during a time of stress and are quick to take on more responsibilities, ignoring one’s own needs. In a No-Needer’s mind, it’s okay if others aren’t able to keep it together but they, the no-needer, have to keep it together. Out of force of habit, No-needers will often reject help when freely offered . Their big fear is asking for help, unless it’s the last resort.
The energy of No-Needing is one of blocking. There is a perceived lack of value that no amount of responsibility can ever fulfill.
- Are afraid of being exposed as being weak. They find it hard to be vulnerable and ask for help in the form of financial assistance, coaching, admin help, etc.
- Even when they do hire help or coaching, they tend to hold back on addressing all the issues that need attention
- It’s tough for them to delegate. They often take on all the responsibilities.
They may even reject help when it’s offered freely.
When you hear the words unconditional receiving what thoughts pop into your head?
Are you excited to learn what you need to do to receive more possessions and create more love and freedom in your life?
Unconditional Receiving is:
A deep knowing of your essential nature – a state of love, value, security, fulfillment, and aliveness. It’s about feeling your essential nature so strongly that you express that knowing regardless of the external circumstances.
Yes, it can lead to more material goods and blissful experiences but only because those external experiences are matching your internal frequency of unconditional receiving.
When you are being an Unconditional Receiver you:
- Remember your true identity as Aliveness/Awareness/Love/God
- Live in partnership with your essence (body, mind and soul); allowing a fuller expression of your essential nature through your body
Living in the state of Connection
Susan came to me struggling a bit with her business. She found it challenging to put her self out there, ask for the sale, and then follow-up if needed. She was also busy as a single mom and was feeling overwhelmed trying to juggle everything. But she was a trooper. She had always relied on herself, learning at an early age that she needed to be strong. She repeatedly said that she didn’t need anyone else.
Through the lens of the No-Needer, she saw that it was hard for her to ask for the sale because this act would point out that she actually had needs. She would need to rely on someone else which went against her conditioning. To avoid the visceral discomfort that this brought up in her, she would simply wait for people and opportunities to come to her – which wasn’t happening.
Susan also didn’t really need to do everything herself. She was dating a guy who had offered several times to help pick up her boy from football practice. But each time, Susan declined and said that she would do it herself. Again this is the No-Needer’s influence.
After working with Susan and having her engage in ‘Connection’ practices, she shared that she felt freer and lighter. Asking for what she needed and wanted no longer felt uncomfortable. She got bolder in asking for what she wanted. As a result, the pieces of her business that had been floating around for awhile came together. More opportunities and collaborations opened up for her. Also, her relationship with her boyfriend became stronger. She was able to receive his love through his support. This increased her sense of trust that she can let go and be take care of. She no longer needed to be the one doing everything.
Two of her biggest takeaways from this process was that (1) Habits that have been ingrained over several years don’t take years to sort out, and (2) Before this process, she realized that she didn’t think she mattered. But by making it okay to ask and be supported, she sees how much more she values herself.